Each parent has a different attitude towards parenting.their children. Someone does not pay too much attention to them and allows them to independently deal with all their problems. However, today it is increasingly common to find fathers and mothers who control their daughters and sons too much. We know this phenomenon best as "Hyper-care"... And in English-speaking countries, such fathers and mothers are called "helicopter parent", which can be translated as Helicopter parent... All because such people circle around theirchildren are like helicopters and are trying to help them in everything. Excessive care can reach the point of absurdity, when parents do not allow already quite adult children even to clean the room on their own. What exactly is the origin of hyperprotection, scientists still do not know exactly. Recently, however, American researchers have become one step closer to the solution.
Consequences of overprotection
The results of their study werepublished in Couple and Family Psychology magazine. Overprotecting children is a very bad parenting method, according to study author Chris Segrin. He is confident that this approach deprives children of independence and can lead to problems in adulthood. In the course of numerous studies, it has been found that overprotection from parents can lead to stress in the child and even addiction to alcohol and illegal substances. The consequences may not manifest themselves immediately, but at the age of 18 to 25 years.
Causes of overprotection
There may be several reasons for overprotectiveness in relation to your child. In most cases, by over-controlling their son or daughter, parents try to satisfy your own needs... Let's say they can't climbcareer ladder. Constantly helping their child and "wishing him only good", they try to prove to themselves that they are at least good parents. They can really love their child and wish him all the best, but still, in this respect, there is a thirst to satisfy their needs. Indeed, children often ask them to give them the opportunity to be at least a little independent, but many parents simply ignore these requests.
Sometimes the cause of overprotection goes much deeper. Some psychologists believe that overprotective parents subconsciously have hostility towards their children... They try to deny it and with all their mightshow that they love their son or daughter. And all this is necessary only in order not to feel guilty. They also feel that their secret hostility can cause trouble for the child. It seems to such parents that something strange can happen to their child at any moment, therefore they always try to control them.
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Experiment with parents and children
Researchers from a group led by Professor Chris Segrin have suggested another likely reason for overprotection - perfectionism... It is customary to understand this term as a phenomenon whenwhich a person always strives for perfection. Perfectionists cannot tolerate inaccuracies and try to do their job perfectly. But there is little good in this, because the pursuit of excellence over time can lead to very negative consequences. It's about stress, lack of time for your own life, and so on. And besides, there is nothing ideal in our world.
To check if there is between perfectionism andoverprotection at least some kind of connection, scientists conducted an experiment. They gathered a group of 302 parents and the same number of children. They were given questionnaires in which they had to assess the level of their upbringing method, as well as severity in relation to themselves and the child. Children, on the other hand, answered questions about their satisfaction with the methods of raising their fathers and mothers. They had the right to choose which parent was more prone to excessive custody - father or mother. It turned out that most often a lot of unnecessary attention to their children is given to mothers.
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The results of the study showed thatPerfectionists do often feel the need for custody of their children. It is believed that by controlling the actions of their children, they simply want them to achieve the goals that they themselves once aspired to. The researchers noted that some parents' self-esteem is highly dependent on how often they interact with their children and help them with tasks. It is normal that fathers and mothers try to give their children all the best, but you always need to know when to stop.